Can you truly be confident if you aren’t willing to face your biggest fears and insecurities? This is a question I’ve been asking myself recently. One thing that I always promise is that I’ll never ask someone to do something that I’m not willing to do myself. Well, for a while, I failed to hold myself accountable to that standard. I was avoiding my insecurities. That was until this past week, when I finally decided it was time to face my biggest one: the fact that I am balding. I know, I know, this may sound silly, but since I was 18, I’ve dealt with anxiety over this. When you put your identity in the wrong things, it cuts you when you lose them. Over the course of my life, I have put too much of who I was into two things: my looks and my athleticism. I lost my sport, I’m losing my hair, and I still have a long road ahead recovering from knee surgery. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that God has begun to take those things away from me at the same time.
For years, I have been taking Finasteride, a hair loss pill, until around December when I did some research into the potential negative side effects of the pill. Although I wasn’t experiencing any, I determined I’d rather lose my hair than risk experiencing them down the line. Over the last five months, I had noticed a significant amount of hair loss to the point where I was struggling to look myself in the mirror. Then I remembered all the coaching I’ve done, all the articles I’ve written, all the preaching I’ve done on facing our fears. I realized I was being a hypocrite. I was telling everyone to face theirs when I wasn’t willing to face my own. As a result, I decided to buzz my head, revealing my extremely thin hair, as I transition into fully shaving it over time. It has been one of the most uncomfortable things I’ve done, maybe ever. However, it has also been one of the most empowering things I have done in my own life. I just don’t care anymore. I am able to let go of hair loss and just embrace it. I never have to sit there and worry again, “Does my hair look okay? Can people tell I’m balding?” It’s like a boulder has been lifted off my shoulders. Now, it’s still challenging when I see myself in the mirror without hair. However, it’s getting better each day. With time, I’ll fully adapt.
Why is this important? It’s important because, think of all the things in life, athletics, and career that hold you back. How much easier would it be to be open about it? How much hesitation in your life would it remove? How less triggered and angry would you be? Believe me, I get it. It’s hard to see the worst of yourself and hope the rest of the world doesn’t see it too. Take control of those fears. Put those insecurities in your own hands. If you own them, then you never have to worry about something or someone else having power over you.
By embracing and confronting our deepest fears and insecurities, we pave the way for genuine confidence and personal growth. Facing our vulnerabilities head-on not only liberates us from the self-doubt but also sets a powerful precedent that we are in control. It fosters the resilience and self-assurance needed to become a truly confident and dominant individual. True confidence stems from within, from the knowledge that we can overcome any challenge life throws at us. We have the ability to take control over our insecurities and fears. The choice is yours.
To Building Fortitude.
Best Regards,
Colin Jonov, Founder & CEO Athletic Fortitude
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